"Every day’s a holiday when your lips meet mine. The music’s keepin’ time with our love. You are here, and so am I"

Well what a week, i've been abit annoyed thins week but i've managed to get most of it out of my system with rants through my poety and unfortunatly rowing with the people who i love and who love me the most I feel like my anger is taking control of me again and i know i need to do something about it. I'm going to sign up for anger managment classes again because i can't cope with all the anger i am feeling, i can't take it out on the people who have wronged me because i'm not that kind of person anymore plus i would end up doing something i may regret.

I've recently had abit of money and to be honest it's nearly all gone, I used alot of it on my new I-pod and some clothes and stuff, I baught two awsome pictures to hang up on my bed room wall which are just so cute and cool i really can't believe i baught them so just wait for some pics.
The one is of a mother wolf and her baby cubs, and the other is of a gothic angel they are totaly awsome and for £8 each it's just great!

I've recently baught 3 new CDs, i got The Wedding Singer soundtrack (volume 2) I got the New Moon soundtrack which rocks, and i have the DVDs and CD soundtrack to True Blood, I've watched all of the 1st series like twice now and slowly i'm watching the second series online, link below for anyone who needs it. All of these soundtracks are posted online on my skydrive, anyone who wants it just send me a note here and i'll post you the link to the music

Today things were difficult, i had to stay home alone for abit as my nan had to go to the hospital called Rookwood for a scan on her leg,because they think she has a blood clot. I had to go to the hospital myself early in the morning for some tests in Whitchurch Hospital, yes it is the mental side and yes i do have some problems.
I've found out my brain activity is up abit due to the fact that i sleep too much and because i'm not using my brain as much as i did in college, this means that i need to either find work or go to college again with a small course

So whilest i'm hearing voices in my head, seeing things that aren't there i also have been having some killer nightmares (literally) i find myself waking up in very dangerous situations, like waking up with a knife beeing held above my chest that lovely one was this morning, scary stuff i know but lets keep going, I have woken up with my arm near a tap that was spraying boiling hot water out, also i've woken to a knife against my arm and even finding my hands wrapped around my neck. So if the dreams don't kill me i'm guessing my heart problem will.

My fiance had another hospital appointment today and i know he's taking his news pretty hard, even i am now that it's sinking in, it's something that we have talked about in depth but it's different when you talk about something and then see it first hand to a point i feel for him and our future, i've never worried before but now it's all i can seem to do is get myself all and about something that may never happen.

I'm really annoyed about the new movie Darren Shan's The Vampire's Assistant, i thought it would be great and i really looked forward to seeing it and now i have it was a big dissapointment because i have read the book. Amongst this i really can't wait for New Moon!!!! It's going to be awsome. I was sorry to hear the the actors who play Edward and Bella, have split up, I guess the film is going to be alittle bit awkward now.

Also i dyed my hair purple again (cause the colour was going) my gorgeous man helped me We had a fun night filled with watching Transporter (since i won't shut up about it) and Alien till the end nearly but i got freaked out by it, i have the dvd box set and tbh want to get rid of it cause the films freak me out too much, i much prefer the Predator series and the mixed films.

So I'm quite happy even thou i do have alot going on that is stressing me out, with my illnesses and people winding me up, i can't wait for the Doctor Who tonight it looks like it's going to freak me out but it's going to be awsome cause i'm going to hopefully watch it with my mum downstairs, if not i'm going to scream run downstairs and call my beloved man

I'm abit pissed off thou since someone has been targeting my work and reporting it!! Damn annoying, plus there is an art theif out there who has stolen one of my poetry peices and after editing it she has used it as her own, I warn you away from her lies and hatred. Note me if you want more information. There is some hope for my life to pick itself back up very soon

Now on to the lyrics of my life, there is 2 songs this time lol Well except for the link i promised:-
[link]


you actually believes me, this journal does end just had fun yanking your chain

"I was chained and bound with a blindfold around, So the judge wouldn't catch my stare. And they hung my soul from the gallows pole, But the witch they never found. So to those who don't fit society's mold, Learn to swim or you will drown."




Lyrics to my life:-

The Killers - A White Demon Love Song

White Demon love song
At my heart
White Demon shadow on the road
Back up your mind there is a car
She hears it coming after all this time
She likes the way he sings
White Demon love songs in her dreams

White Demon where's your selfish kiss?
White Demon sorrow will arrange
Let's not forget about the fear
Black invitation to a place
That cannot change
Wild, strangely holey
Come for a break

White Demon, why didn't your hearts go?
White Demon, who let your friends go?
White Demon, why didn't your hearts go?
White Demon, who let your friends go?

Let us be in love, let us be in love
Let's do old embrace, let's do old embrace
I won't make you cry, I won't make you cry
I will never stray, I will never stray
I will do my part, I will do my part
Let us be in love tonight

White Demon, why didn't your hearts go?
White Demon, who let your friends go?
White Demon, why didn't your hearts go?
White Demon, who let your friends go?

Theory Of A Deadman - Say I'm Sorry:-

As I sit in this coffee shop
half way through your note I had to stop
right near, the end, the letter read
Maybe when I leave i'll lead a life less empty
Maybe we were waiting way too long to end this soap opera story
you'll accept just half of all these consequences
maybe then is when i'll finally say i'm sorry

Why didn't you, why didn't I, why couldn't we, I wonder why

She called me up the other day
and thank god I knew exactly what to say
you left me with this note and I quote, from the note you wrote

Maybe when I leave i'll lead a life less empty
Maybe we were waiting way too long to end this soap opera story
you'll accept just half of all these consequences
maybe then that's when i'll finally say i'm sorry

Why did'nt you, why didn't I, why couldn't we, I wonder why
Why didn't you, why didn't I, why couldn't we, I wonder why
Why didn't you, why didn't I

Maybe when I leave i'll lead a life less empty
Maybe we were waiting way too long to end this soap opera story
you'll accept just half of all these consequences
maybe then that's when i'll finally say i'm sorry
maybe then that's when i'll finally say i'm sorry
maybe then that's when i'll finally say i'm sorry